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DONT SAY I'M PRETTY FOR A DARK SKIN GIRL.

10/19/2010

11 Comments

 
  Don’t Say I’m Pretty for a Dark Skin Girl     By Karis Soturi

            I am so sick and tired of going anywhere and being told that for some reason I have beat the odds of what beauty is suppose to be cause obviously being dark skin doesn’t fit its descriptions. As a black woman living in America it’s expected for me to encounter various forms of races and prejudice views. It’s unfortunate that with all of the racism I ever faced majority of it was from another black person. It’s disgusting and truly amazing how much self hate infects our African American community. What’s even more disturbing is how we’re stupid enough to nurse this cancer we posses.

            Before I go any further let me first clear up all the stereotypes about us ebony colored women. First, I am not insecure or low maintenance so if u want to get with me u better bring your A+ game. Second, I’m beautiful because God created me and he chose this shade of skin for me to live in so if you have a problem with it take it up with him.  In consideration of that statement, as a human being I should be judge by the character of my heart and not the color of my skin. I’m more than certain that is what Frederick Douglass, Sojourner Truth, Martin Luther King, and all the other great historical black leaders throughout history were fighting for. Or maybe I misunderstood them because according to the point of view of our modern society they must have only been referring to the lighter skin blacks?  It sounds ridiculous when you actually think how many years we as black people have been fighting for equality when we really should have been having an ethical war amongst each other.

            To further illustrate my point, a rapper will make a 100 songs about a light skin woman but I can count on one hand how many songs I’ve ever heard which mention a dark skin women and none of them where even nominated for a BET award. As a result, we have a countless number of black men, whether they are of a lighter or darker complexion because somehow from my experience this rule doesn’t apply to men, with a preference for lighter woman. I personally could care less if Lil Wayne starts rapping about dark skin women. To be honest I don’t feel as if having more rappers make songs that sexualize us in a disrespectful way will help this issue anymore since that’s a whole other issue on its own. Seriously, who wants to fight to have more dark skin girls in the next tip drill video? However, to be marketed more as  beauty in the music and other entertainment industries alike would be a little alleviating to this issue.

            After all is said and done we cannot solely blame media. At some point we as individuals have to take the blame. To justify someone by the color of their skin means that you have a personal problem which needs to be addressed? Especially if you are one of those dark skin guys who has a preference for a girl who doesn’t even share your skin color. Now that’s what I call self hate at its finest! I’m not saying there is anything wrong with dating someone who doesn’t share the same skin tone as you because I do embrace diversity.  On the other hand, beauty does not run up to only a certain skin tone. True beauty is undefinable and Black beauty happens to be one of its many variations it comes in.



11 Comments
J Marie
10/19/2010 12:19:59 pm

I'm dark skinned and I lovvvvvveeeeee everything about it and so do the fellas! Follow me on Twitter Jmarie722. Hope people grow up about this

Reply
YoshiGal
10/22/2010 01:01:39 am

You know what? I'm black. I'm a woman. I'm attractive. I've been called slim, sexy, fine, real pretty, and some dude came with a whole nother approach calling me a princess but I've never been told I'm pretty for a black girl. The first time I ever heard of this was my freshman year at FAMU and since then I can't go on a blog written by a black woman who doesn't bring this up atleast once and I'm tired of it. Most of the time when a black man says this he's in stunned by how pretty you are so it slips out. He's not trying to offend you, he's trying to compliment you. Backhanded as it may be. It's just a compliment. And why must black men limit themselves to dating women who share the same skin color as them? That's so backwards to me. So now we're not just mad they're dating white women, we're mad cause they're dating lighter skinned black women. Well damn. Let me break up with my light skinned boyfriend and go find me a man that matches my skin tone. Or does it not apply to women? I see light skinned dudes with dark skinned women all the time and they're not self hating are they? Awareness of skin color is natural. I volunteered at a daycare last week, when one of the little white girls started touching my skin, smiled at me, and said, "You're pretty. You're brown." She had just learned her colors and of course, my skin is brown. I didn't go off on her and I didn't tell her what she said to me was wrong. I just laughed and asked her what color she was. She didn't know. I say that to say this, as much as we wish the world was color blind, it's not. I hear white people say Beyonce's pretty for a black girl all the time. Do you think she cares?

Reply
Mashawnda Dowell link
10/22/2010 01:57:36 am

My favorite part of the post is when you stated the following, "It’s unfortunate that with all of the racism I ever faced majority of it was from another black person".

Its true that many people tend to believe this, however, it does span into other cultures as well.

My solution? Go on with my life. People will always hide behind race, instead of handling many other life issues. That goes for blacks as well as any other race.

Beauty is what you make it for yourself. The standard is set by you.

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